A bit funny maybe considering my last post doubled as an LOA but-
I resign, and hopefully not just for three days this time either.
Don't worry, this isn't one of those drama-filled, community schism-styled resignations. The fact of the matter is that I've been entirely uninterested since about July and even approaching the tiniest things in regards to TnB has felt like an utter chore to me. Don't seek to disparage anyone or speak ill in any real way, but I'll touch on some of the reasons why my interest has dwindled so much.
1) Pushing really anything on server or in the community in general has begun feeling like a massive uphill battle. From all sources I've just found that a lot of the trust we had in each other as roleplayers and as members of the same community is entirely gone. Having to play as a leader during the HLNA Uprising was absolutely miserable - non stop complaining, non stop killing each other, nobody even bothering to really treat it like a roleplay experience with only a handful of exceptions. Roleplay on TnB nowadays feels more like people entering RP with set expectations for how exactly it will play out; rather than excited to explore dynamic situations, all that seems to come out of unexpected roleplay is a flurry of complaints and rumor spreading without even bothering to actually... roleplay any of it out on a character's personal level.
2) The truth is that nowadays, we're far beyond our glory days and so are most other serious roleplay communities you'll ever find on GMod. Learn to be satisfied with 20-30 player averages for a while; the stress of always having the expectation to have 50, 60, 70 players on a server consistently even while the game you're hosting the server on is dying is a very unbecoming feeling. Garry's Mod still has however many players, sure, but finding a serious roleplay server doing better than us maybe aside from one or two much newer communities is extremely difficult.
3) Roleplay itself is just not very fun anymore for me here. Usually I'm only able to connect and actively play a server when I have a character I'm actively enjoying but that's not happened since early HLNA with 69196 before taking control of the entire CCA. If I can't actually enjoy my own roleplay, then I can't get a good gauge of how playing the server actually is, and that means managing it at all is just about hell.
Yes, I'm sure TnB's going to be fine, Ammo will hopefully do a good job with leading TRP on and someone else will decide where we go from there in regards to future servers. I wish this place well because it was a very very very massive source of many childhood memories but as it stands now, I don't want the responsibility or obligations weighing on me while I have virtually no interest in fulfilling any of it.
Best of luck to the admin teams of the current and future, hopefully my pretty simple feedback above can give an insight as to how many people are feeling - especially numero uno.
Peace fellas, and Happy Valentine's Day.