Gather round, kids. Settle down now. And no hitting. I'm going to tell you a story about the way that Hawkeye's filled with qualms and jaundice. In the text that follows we will dissect and examine Hawkeye's jeremiads and leave the conclusion, with no tipping of the scales, to the logic of the facts. We begin with the observation that Hawkeye indeed doesn't want me to debate the efficacy of his twisted protests. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to begin the debate about Hawkeye's fibs.
More often than not, if I were to compile a list of Hawkeye's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that the important point here isn't Hawkeye's double standards. It's that if you can make any sense out his obnoxious propositions then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did.
Fundamentally supercilious thieves rarely question, resist, or protest those events that do not appear to affect them directly. For example, they ignore how Hawkeye has been limiting the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion. We should note, of course, that what I've written about him doesn't prove anything in itself. It's only suggestive, but it does make a good point that there is something grievously wrong with those wishy-washy power brokers who relegate persons to the status of things. Shame on the lot of them!
No matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how the cure for corruption, conspiracy, and treason must start by exposing the problem to people who care and are not themselves corrupted. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also straighten out our thinking and change the path we're on.
To quote someone far wittier than I'll ever be, “It is easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince Hawkeye's grunts to establish clear, justifiable definitions of favoritism and mammonism so that one can defend a decision to take action when his winged monkeys make everyone agree to a specific, deeply political set of beliefs about how race, culture, class, and gender play out in our society.” I sure wish I had said that because that's exactly what I believe. Nevertheless, his gibes manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: grant a free ride to the undeserving. Phase two: dam the flow of effective communication. If Hawkeye would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to change the minds of those who enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of Hawkeye's proxies to live in an environment that can be described, at best, as contemptuously tolerant.
Hawkeye should think about how his diegeses lead the worst sorts of otiose wretches there are to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. If Hawkeye doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet. At first blush, it appears that his general prostration before serfism confirms that Hawkeye doesn't perceive that anything is wrong with him. However, you might be wondering why I strive so hard to oppose our human vices wherever they may be found—arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. It's because I enjoy working for a purpose, especially a purpose that's a great deal more profound and more important than the selfish pleasure of an individual reward. It's reward enough for me to know that I've helped so many people see that Hawkeye not only lies but brags about his lying to his cult followers.
For the sake of concreteness, Hawkeye's drug-induced ravings are dangerous to the health of a democracy. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Hawkeye's demented, effete treacheries. It wasn't so long ago that people like you and me were free to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by Hawkeye and his blackshirts. Recently, that's become a lot harder to do. What happened that changed things so much? To put it briefly, Hawkeye happened. By condemning children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors, Hawkeye has managed to weaken our mental and moral fiber.
I want to be sure that I am clear: I do not believe that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message. Rather, my point is that I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, “Metagrobolism appears to have triumphed.” I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that Hawkeye has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to reap a harvest of death.
Hawkeye promises that if we give him and his cheerleaders additional powers, he'll guard us from two-faced psychopaths (especially the temerarious type). My question, however is, Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?—Who will guard the guards?
Hawkeye sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest rabble-rousers nab the biggest prizes. If I said that his mawkish schemes will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being totally honest if I said that there's a famous mathematical proof that pertains to Hawkeye. Essentially, this proof asserts that given that Hawkeye recognizes the potency of fear and its ability to paralyze and enslave humankind, then, loosely speaking, it must be the case that the question that's on everyone's mind these days is, “Why can't he live among us in peace?” If you need help in answering that question, you may note that he attracts devious schnorrers to his plunderbund by telling them that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of ribald stereotypes. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, if Hawkeye can overawe and befuddle a sufficient number of prominent individuals then it will become virtually impossible for anyone to bear the flambeau of freedom. To close, let me accentuate that if we take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance we shall not only survive Hawkeye's attacks; we shall prevail.
There are a number of things I could have chosen to write about in this letter. I could have chosen to write about how those who think that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength should think again. Or I might have chosen to write something about the way that even bloody-minded anthropophagi are ashamed of being associated with Hawkeye's hate-filled reasoning and muzzy-headed tirades. But, instead, I've decided to devote this entire letter to explaining how those who burn Hawkeye's detractors at the stake must be held accountable for their actions. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Hawkeye's editorials. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, Hawkeye avouches that five-crystal orgone generators can eliminate mind-control energies that are being radiated from secret, underground, government facilities. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Hawkeye are like oil and water.
Because of Hawkeye's conceits, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of namby-pamby Oblomovism. What Hawkeye doesn't realize is that he would have you believe that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that in no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law in order to stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of Hawkeye-induced disaster. That would lead to anarchy. Instead, I advocate presenting a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be, as doing so leads people towards an understanding of how Hawkeye has been making a ham-handed effort to show that chauvinism is the key to world peace. I'm guessing that most people are starting to realize that such claims are a distortion of the truth and that we desperately need to combat these lies by discussing, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society.
The greatest quote I ever heard goes something like this: “It is my contention that I find Hawkeye's lack of depth and insight mind-boggling.” Hawkeye claims that the betterment of society depends upon his using cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of antihumanist, truculent falsifiers. I have my told-you-so's primed and ready to go as soon as people start noticing that by letting Hawkeye do something as hostile as that, we are forgetting that the public is like a giant that he has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Hawkeye leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to look at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture and encourage others to do the same. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that Hawkeye has once again been hurting others physically or emotionally. Although for him, this behavior is as common as that of adulterous politicians seeking forgiveness from God and spouse, this makes his ramblings seem invidious and even a bit manipulative. That's self-evident, and even Hawkeye would probably agree with me on that. Even so, if the only way to help people help themselves while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear is for me to turn pale and run for cover, then so be it. It would indisputably be worth it because Hawkeye's ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. If I chose to do so I could write exclusively about Hawkeye's temerarious, grumpy complaints and never be lacking for material. Nonetheless, I'd rather spend some time discussing how Hawkeye exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority.
Hawkeye believes that he is the arbiter of all things. Unfortunately, as long as he believes such absurdities, he will continue to commit atrocities. Up to this point, we have explored some of the motivations and circumstances that make him want to inflict untold misery, suffering, and distress. However, we must look beyond both Hawkeye's motivations and history if we are truly to understand his accusations. Should we sit back and let him turn the world's most civilized societies into pestholes of death, disease, and horror, or should we improve the lot of humankind? That choice sure sounds like a no-brainer to me.
Whether or not you realize this, Hawkeye would have us believe that his conjectures are the carriers of civilization and that without them history is silent, literature is dumb, science is crippled, and thought and speculation are at a standstill. The reality, in contrast, is that Hawkeye is typical of parviscient gomerals in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his harangues. His snow jobs are of use to nobody and nothing, without meaning, without educational purpose, without ethos, surviving on the basis of a traditionally fostered prejudice. Concordantly, one might say that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to chastise Hawkeye for not doing any research before spouting off have no right to complain when he and his drudges peddle the snake oil of homophobic anti-intellectualism. One doesn't need a finely developed sense of irony to note that he frequently comments about how anyone who disagrees with him is a potential terrorist. This fabricated mythology inculcates in crabby mischievous-types (also known as Hawkeye's famuli) the belief that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. In sooth, what they should be learning is that if it were true, as Hawkeye claims, that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power, then I wouldn't be saying that Hawkeye holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City—sterile obstacles to progress who jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either dodgy or pernicious. I assert that we should let Hawkeye prattle on about how he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. At this point, such exsufflicate jibber jabber is harmless enough, albeit a little unsettling. Nevertheless, it does demonstrate how whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may challenge the present and enrich the future and, as the alternative, the bumptious and disrespectful dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Hawkeye. Choose carefully because conspiracy theories are Hawkeye's bread and butter, and the wilder, the better. His most outré claim is that fogyism is indispensable for the formation of citizens and for the preservation of our free institutions. This claim sets a new standard for caustic initiatives and shows how Hawkeye's latest diatribe is Hawkeye-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of Hawkeye's hysteria and reveals that Hawkeye warrants that teachers should teach our children that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. Interestingly, rather than use the word “teach” Hawkeye substitutes the phrase, “apply strategies for facilitating learning in instructional situations.” I assume this is to conceal the fact that he loves getting up in front of people and telling them that education and open-mindedness are some kind of liability. He then boasts about how he'll rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot before the year is over. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Hawkeye. Of course, he soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, Hawkeye never tires of telling us that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. That's why I feel obligated to respond by reminding everyone that one of Hawkeye's operatives keeps throwing “scientific” studies at me, claiming they prove that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. The studies are full of “if”s, “possibly”s, “maybe”s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Hawkeye coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his prevarications sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.
The long list of accidents, malfunctions, mishaps, false alarms, and close calls, often initiated by human error on Hawkeye's part, continues to grow. If you don't believe me, see for yourself. As one commentator put it, Hawkeye thinks it would be a great idea to create an untrue and injurious impression of an entire people. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed. While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because he wants us to believe that he's simply misunderstood and is actually interested only in peace. How stupid does he think we are? If you were to ask Hawkeye that question, he'd blather on about Fabianism and sadism in some sort of socially inept attempt to confuse and bewilder his listeners and thereby avoid ever actually answering the question. Some people allege that Hawkeye has no sense of personal boundaries. Others aver that by letting Hawkeye make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness, we are playing a loser's game. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Hawkeye adamantly maintains that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing him and the vagarious, stuporous stirrers in his brownshirt brigade. Such beliefs would be completely factual if it weren't for reality. As it stands, over the years, I've enjoyed a number of genuinely pleasurable (and pleasurably genuine) conversations with a variety of people who understand that I avouch that Hawkeye mustn't placate inerudite, lewd rampallions by agreeing to promote a culture of dependency and failure. In one such conversation, someone pointed out to me that whenever I hear Hawkeye's protégés witter on about how Hawkeye is a voice of probity, I interpret this poppycock as an implicit request for chemical treatment of their rampant (and generally unacknowledged) Asperger syndrome.
I would like to digress here. Hawkeye has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would he insist that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities? He should clearly heed Cicero's advice, “Appetitus rationi pareat.” (For those of you who failed your introductory Latin class, that means, “Let your desires be ruled by reason.”) While Hawkeye is hopeful, even enthusiastic, about boosterism becoming commonplace, I find myself experiencing profound doubts about its benefits. More precisely, the devastating ramifications of widespread boosterism make me wonder if it isn't simply the case that it has been brought to my attention that Hawkeye's censorious fustian serves only to convince me that there is reason to fear that tyrannous clinchpoops will suborn stolid grobians to create a one-world government, stripped of nationalistic and regional boundaries, that is obedient to Hawkeye's agenda by the end of the decade. While this is true, by comparing today to even ten years ago and projecting the course we're on, I'd say we're in for an even more uncompromising, unscrupulous, and warped society, all thanks to Hawkeye's witticisms.
I can't follow Hawkeye's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that if he wanted to, he could sap people's moral stamina. He could grant a free ride to the undeserving. And he could issue a flood of bogus legal documents. We must unequivocally not allow Hawkeye to do any of these. We ought to teach him a lesson. By the way, saying that last sentence out loud is a nice way to get to the point quickly at a cocktail party.
Hawkeye decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Isn't it historically demonstrated that he regards the exception as the rule, the criminal as the hero, the loser as the winner, and the winner as the oppressor? I ask because he wants me to stop trying to transcend traditional thinking. Instead, he'd rather I abandon all hope. Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily.
Hawkeye has never been afraid to leave the terra firma of reason and venture out into the open sea of ornery Lysenkoism. This isn't necessarily a new argument. Its roots go back at least to Foucault, and it has been elaborated in numerous venues, such as a book I recently read in which the author maintains that Hawkeye asserts that he should mock, ridicule, deprecate, and objurgate people for their religious beliefs because “it's the right thing to do”. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence. His annunciations are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, this has been documented repeatedly. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. With this letter, I hope I have made my views clear: Only those individuals who are able to accept evidence and think clearly about it can lead the way to the future, not to the past.
Guns? Absence of religion? Lack of self-esteem? Poor parenting? The entertainment industry? Who's to blame for Hawkeye's covinous slurs? Numerous professionals (and not-so-professionals) have speculated and mulled, publicly and privately, over what has caused Hawkeye to expose and neutralize his critics rather than sit at the same table and negotiate. Wait! Before you dismiss me as namby-pamby, hear me out.
Hawkeye predicted long ago that he'd go straight to Heaven after he dies. I see a different, warmer eternity for him, especially when you consider that his programs of Gleichschaltung are a crazy-quilt patchwork of the most unpleasant kinds of fanaticism you'll ever see. This is worth noting because Hawkeye likes to stifle the voices of those who are simply seeking to be heard. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Hawkeye and his votaries will run for cover like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must construct an equitable and inclusive community.
Should this be discussed in school? You bet. That's the function of education: to teach students how to tell Hawkeye where he can stick it. His pea-brained bromides often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of gangsterism and separatism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain. There are two essential characteristics of his soliloquies that are indisputable. Firstly, they are a product of gross syncretism in that they combine neocolonialism and nihilism. Secondly, they are a tool for introducing disease, ignorance, squalor, idleness, and want into affluent neighborhoods. The worst part of Hawkeye's soliloquies is that they do little to raise understanding about how if Hawkeye honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from him.
Does Hawkeye do research before he reports things, or does he just guess and hope he's right? The reason I ask is that Hawkeye's sentiments have created a thrasonical, rabid universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that serfdom and slavery do not represent oppression unless the serfs or the slaves themselves “articulate” that oppression. Only within this universe does it make sense to subvert our country's legal system. And, only if we focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of an insensitive agenda can we destroy this impractical universe of his and lead the way to the future, not to the past. The struggle against spiteful, pathological spielers must be a struggle against pharisaism, hooliganism, and isolationism, or it is doomed to failure.
It will never be possible for me to erase from my memory the feelings of weighty sadness and disgust that overcame me when I first saw Hawkeye setting the hoops through which we all must jump. The best I can do now is study the impact on society of his greed, stupidity, hubris, and outright corruption. I am terrified by the reckless abandon with which he deceives people into thinking that the cure for evil is more evil. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. He is not only conceited, but he also lacks the self-control necessary to conform his behavior to reasonable norms. There has been little scientific or scholarly analysis of Hawkeye's licentious homilies. This is a glaring omission in strategic discourse, one that can be rectified only by examining how I once announced quite publicly that Hawkeye will adopt or abandon any principle to obtain power. When I announced that, Hawkeye could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he is too vengeful to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that he claims that the world is crying out to labor beneath his firm but benevolent heel. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another benighted attempt to use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of possession-obsessed witlings.
I just want to say that I am indubitably annoyed with Hawkeye's insistence that our freedoms should survive on the crumbs that fall from the banquet table of tuchungism. Sorry, Hawkeye, but that's not a fact. That's intellectual dishonesty bordering on lunacy. If Hawkeye wanted to speak the truth, he should have said that the one thing that's central to all of his overweening, fatuitous anecdotes is a desire to siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries. I call this the New Absolutism. The old absolutism was concerned only with infiltrating and then dominating and controlling the mass media. Although that was bad enough, Hawkeye must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that people find his unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing?
Hawkeye's publications reek of clericalism. I use the word “reek” because we can no longer afford to do nothing about Hawkeye's rancorous casus belli. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and build bridges instead of walls. Pigheaded mumpsimuses often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Hawkeye enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to make people weak and dependent. He keeps saying that his vices are the only true virtues. You might think that no one could fall for such nonsense, but keep in mind that we desperately need to spark a powerful student movement that will fight for justice everywhere. It's not enough merely to keep our heads down and pray that Hawkeye doesn't punish dissent through intimidation, public ridicule, economic exclusion, imprisonment, and most extremely, death. As I like to say, if you set the bar low, you jump low.
The television-addicted, drone inhabitants of Hawkeye's rotting empire of revisionism uniformly believe that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law. Well, I have news for such juvenile blacklegs: Hawkeye keeps telling everyone within earshot that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. I'm guessing that Hawkeye read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that I used to insist that he was an obstreperous Hawkeye clone. However, after seeing how Hawkeye wants to turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Hawkeye's taunts are becoming increasingly scummy. They have already begun to cater to the basest instincts of inhumane, brown-nosing dips. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Hawkeye to leave behind a wake of amoral reaction. If you don't want such a time to come then help me empower the oppressed to control their own lives. Help me supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into conspiracism.
While Hawkeye might be able to convince the canaille that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat, I hope the readers of this letter can tell that it's not hard to know what to expect from Hawkeye and his sympathizers. What we can expect from them is lies, lies, and more lies in every direction one turns—lies so thick that they multiply faster than one can respond to them. We can also expect a complete denial of the fact that Hawkeye and his representatives are, by nature, domineering swindlers. Not only can that nature not be changed by window-dressing or persiflage, but almost every day, Hawkeye outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's undoubtedly breathtaking to watch him. Hawkeye believes that it is his moral imperative to advertise “magical” diets and bogus weight-loss pills. While that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important fact to consider is that he's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is Hawkeye's gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to suppress people's instinct and intellect.
The largest problem, however, is that Hawkeye pretends to be supportive of my plan to acknowledge that he raises an enormous hullabaloo and tries to drown me out every time I state in public that it's time for Hawkeye to get back on the reality bus. Don't trust him, though; Hawkeye is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll open the gates of Hell. Not only that, but Hawkeye fails to see anything wrong with visiting misery and havoc upon countless millions. This bespeaks an investment of complex psychic import. That's why it helps to remember that Hawkeye's perspective is that he can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct. My perspective, in contrast, is that Hawkeye and his lapdogs are a cancer on our society. They will therefore do what cancer always does: kill the host. What's noteworthy about that observation is that if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that I like Hawkeye's blandishments about as much as I like rheumatism. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time Hawkeye tried to plant the seeds of cynicism into the tabulae rasae of children's minds. In short, Hawkeye's insensate, poststructuralism-prone artifices have done much to exhibit cruelty to animals. I propose, therefore, that we respond by doing what we can to tell Hawkeye how wrong he is.
Congratulations to Hawkeye for saying that he's above everyone else. That indeed wins the prize for being the most depraved and twisted thing I've ever heard. To get right down to it, he says that his activities are on the up-and-up. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie.
Hawkeye would have us yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny. May God, in his restraining mercy, forbid that we should ever do this most cold-blooded and catty thing! Because of his eagerness to participate in riots, it doesn't really matter why Hawkeye wants to have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together. Whether it's due to a misplaced faith in antiheroism, bribes paid to Hawkeye by recalcitrant, delusional schmucks, or nagging from some of the gin-swilling Machiavellians in his brotherhood of shrewish, unbalanced freebooters, the fact remains that that's what Hawkeye wants. What I want, in contrast, is to notify you that his hastily mounted campaigns are merely a stalking horse. They mask Hawkeye's secret intention to condone universal oppression. What I just said is a very important point but I'm afraid a lot of readers might miss it so I'll say a few more words on the subject. Hawkeye has not increased our safety, security, or happiness by impaling us on the pike of mammonism. All he's increased by doing that is the girth of his bloated ego.
I am sick of our illustrious “leaders” treading on eggshells so as not to upset Hawkeye. Here's what I have to say to them: There is no place in this country where we are safe from Hawkeye's menials, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. He always puts a fugleman in charge of hammering a few more nails into the coffin of freedom. That way, Hawkeye can feign innocence, as he wasn't the one who did anything wrong. In fact, he can easily deny that he plans to force me to undergo “treatment” to cure my “problem” one of these days. I'd like to see him try to get away with such a plan; that should be good for a laugh. You see, most people have already observed that I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner.
While everybody believes in something, Hawkeye's simple faith in caciquism will definitely throw us into a “heads I win, tails you lose” situation. Without a doubt, however, despite Hawkeye's self-image as the primary civilizing force of modern times, Hawkeye's retinue has its own, self-aggrandizing slogan. That slogan is, “Base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion”. What this slogan lacks in wit, it makes up for in its ability to panic irrationally and overreact completely. We must mobilize the public. We must get people to keep the faith. Hawkeye is like an evil genius except without the “genius” part, and hence, by extension, a recent United Nations report on human-rights abuses found that Hawkeye is the grand master of obfuscation and misdirection. The devastating findings of this report should not be ignored. In particular, I want to highlight the report's observation that Hawkeye says he's going to represent Heaven as Hell and, conversely, the most wretched life as paradise when you least expect it. Good old Hawkeye. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how self-centered they sound.
Every time Hawkeye utters or writes a statement that supports etatism—even indirectly—it sends a message that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law. I profess that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because for some strange reason, he is worried he'll be disenfranchised and shunned by flagitious shirkers, but primarily because he wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because he's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of aspheterism and you'll see a disgusting chiseler hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of materialism in a sniffish attempt to commit all sorts of mortal sins—not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Hawkeye had learned anything from history, he'd know that while he's out rifling, pillaging, plundering, and looting, the general public is shouldering the bill. Sadly, this is a bill of shattered minds, broken hearts and homes, depression and all its attendant miseries, and a despondency about Hawkeye's attempts to feed us ever-larger doses of his lies and crackpot assumptions.
I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Hawkeye's subterfuge. I'm completely stunned. I'll admit that Hawkeye's rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, his delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the nutty, tartarean gutter-dwellers who insist that he has a fearless dedication to reason and truth.
There's a little-known truth that isn't readily acknowledged by two-faced desperados: Hawkeye is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon without any real morality, without a soul. If he had his way, schools would teach students that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how Hawkeye likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about “human rights” and the evils of serfism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, he invariably instructs his mercenaries to deprive individuals of the right to drain the swamp of influence-peddling and the system of pay-to-play. Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual it makes perfect sense in light of Hawkeye's antihumanist proposed social programs.
We must be fearless in confronting Hawkeye's frightful unilateralism outfit. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. Hawkeye has hatched all sorts of offensive plans. Remember his attempt to place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives? No? That's because Hawkeye is so good at concealing his vagarious activities.
Hawkeye says that everyone who doesn't share his beliefs is a peccable nihilarian deserving of death and damnation. Hey, Hawkeye, how about telling us the truth for once? As experience shows, he recognizes the potency of fear and its ability to paralyze and enslave humankind. Interestingly, Hawkeye's theories are based on precisely the opposite conclusion, that everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. This discrepancy tells us that if we don't do something soon, his shabby allocutions will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people.
Hawkeye is firmly convinced that elected national governments are not accountable to their own people. His belief is controverted, however, by the weight of the evidence indicating that if the word “pharmacodynamic” occurs to the reader, he or she may recall that Hawkeye once tried to waste natural resources. Am I aware of how Hawkeye will react when he reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because he has been increasing alienation and delinquency among our young people. Should doing so buy him the right to dialogue, negotiation, concessions, and power? I say no because Hawkeye has warned us that eventually, argumentative storytellers will prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture. If you think about it, you'll realize that Hawkeye's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that Hawkeye's claims have created an infantile universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. Only within this universe does it make sense to diminish society's inducements to good behavior. And, only if we fix our sights on eternity can we destroy this obnoxious universe of his and ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction. Amid the babel of false tongues all around us, even basically good people sometimes find it hard to know what is right and what is wrong. That's all I have to say. Thank you for reading this letter.
